Everyone wants to be successful, and it isn't
as difficult as it may seem. When you simply work to help others and
become more likable, everything you want will fall into place. Here
are seven tips adapted from Dave Kerpen's "How to Get Everything You Want.
Seriously." to make it happen:
The single-most important skill
in professional and personal relationships is listening. As Ernest Hemingway
said, "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never
listen." Most people have their own agenda of are too busy talking/thinking
about what they are going to say next to you. So, if you, unlike most people,
listen fully and with empathy, then people will like you and eventually help
you get what you want.
2. Help Others
Instead of asking for something
from someone, help that person get what he/she wants. If you don't know what
they want- ask, "How can I help you?". You will stand out just by
genuinely seek to help others succeed in their goals and dreams, as most people
are only out to help themselves. And those you genuinely help will turn around
and fight to help you succeed with your goals as well. When you help others
first without expecting anything, the return will be great.
3. Be Yourself: Authentic, Transparent, and Vulnerable
As Oprah
Winfrey once stated, “I had no idea that being your authentic self could make
me as rich as I've become. If I had, I'd have done it a lot
earlier."
It may be tough in the work place
to opt to become transparent and vulnerable, especially with people that you
may not know very well. But as hard as these choices may be, what results from
being authentic, transparent and vulnerable is that people will trust you.
Opening up and taking chances will show others that you are trustworthy.
4. Tell, Don't
Sell
While it is important to listen
and to help others, you still need to eventually tell people what it is that
you want. The key is to tell, not sell because no one wants to be sold to.
Whether it is a product, idea, service or yourself, give up on
"selling.". Instead, focus on painting the picture of what will
happen when you do get what you want, and practice telling a great story-
bringing to life what the future will bring when you get to your goals. Then,
people will be excited and want to be part of your story too.
5. Inject Passion Into Every Interaction
If you really want something, you
must but more passionate and excited about it than anyone else. If you aren't,
why should someone else be? Passion and excitement is contagious, but lack of
both is as well. You don't need to be super high energy and bouncing off the
walls, but you just need to reveal your passion in a way that works for you.
6. Surprise and
Delight Others
For example, as written in Dave
Kerpen's article, "You know how when
you walk into a casino, there's always a slot machine going off somewhere in
the background, telling the world that another person just hit a jackpot? This
is what social psychologists call variable rewards. You don't know when you're going to
win; you just have enough positive experiences that you feel excited, even when
you're not winning."
By
surprising and delighting others, you remind them that you are the type of
person that may surprise and delight them again soon and that makes them happy.
Some other examples would be bringing home flowers for no reason or telling a
customer a product may arrive next week- and then overnight it. If you go out
of your way to make an experience with you special, especially when others may
least expect it, you will get big results over time.
-I'm sorry- when you make
a mistake.
-Thank you- as much as you can.
The words, "I'm sorry"
and "Thank you" are so simple yet so many people overlook the
importance of saying them. Everyone makes mistake, and it’s not when you make a
mistake that’s a problem it’s when you are too proud or embarrassed to fess up,
be vulnerable and apologize.
Saying sorry
lets others forgive you so you can move on and focus back on what you
want.
Expressing
sincere gratitude is a strong emotion to convey, and opens up new doors and
opportunities. Sending thank you cards to acquaintances is a great idea-
because it’s not just about sending the card it’s about having a deep
appreciation for others around you.
