How to Get Everything You Want...no, seriously

 

 

Everyone wants to be successful, and it isn't as difficult as it may seem.  When you simply work to help others and become more likable, everything you want will fall into place.  Here are seven tips adapted from Dave Kerpen's "How to Get Everything You Want. Seriously." to make it happen: 

 

 1. Listen First and Never Stop Listening

The single-most important skill in professional and personal relationships is listening. As Ernest Hemingway said, "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." Most people have their own agenda of are too busy talking/thinking about what they are going to say next to you. So, if you, unlike most people, listen fully and with empathy, then people will like you and eventually help you get what you want. 

2. Help Others

Instead of asking for something from someone, help that person get what he/she wants. If you don't know what they want- ask, "How can I help you?". You will stand out just by genuinely seek to help others succeed in their goals and dreams, as most people are only out to help themselves. And those you genuinely help will turn around and fight to help you succeed with your goals as well. When you help others first without expecting anything, the return will be great. 

3. Be Yourself: Authentic, Transparent, and Vulnerable

As Oprah Winfrey once stated, “I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I've become. If I had, I'd have done it a lot earlier." 

It may be tough in the work place to opt to become transparent and vulnerable, especially with people that you may not know very well. But as hard as these choices may be, what results from being authentic, transparent and vulnerable is that people will trust you. Opening up and taking chances will show others that you are trustworthy.

4. Tell, Don't Sell

While it is important to listen and to help others, you still need to eventually tell people what it is that you want. The key is to tell, not sell because no one wants to be sold to. Whether it is a product, idea, service or yourself, give up on "selling.". Instead, focus on painting the picture of what will happen when you do get what you want, and practice telling a great story- bringing to life what the future will bring when you get to your goals. Then, people will be excited and want to be part of your story too. 

5. Inject Passion Into Every Interaction

If you really want something, you must but more passionate and excited about it than anyone else. If you aren't, why should someone else be? Passion and excitement is contagious, but lack of both is as well. You don't need to be super high energy and bouncing off the walls, but you just need to reveal your passion in a way that works for you.

6. Surprise and Delight Others

For example, as written in Dave Kerpen's article, "You know how when you walk into a casino, there's always a slot machine going off somewhere in the background, telling the world that another person just hit a jackpot? This is what social psychologists call variable rewards. You don't know when you're going to win; you just have enough positive experiences that you feel excited, even when you're not winning." 

By surprising and delighting others, you remind them that you are the type of person that may surprise and delight them again soon and that makes them happy. Some other examples would be bringing home flowers for no reason or telling a customer a product may arrive next week- and then overnight it. If you go out of your way to make an experience with you special, especially when others may least expect it, you will get big results over time.

 7. Use the Four Most Important Words in Business and Life

-I'm sorry- when you make a mistake.

-Thank you- as much as you can.

The words, "I'm sorry" and "Thank you" are so simple yet so many people overlook the importance of saying them. Everyone makes mistake, and it’s not when you make a mistake that’s a problem it’s when you are too proud or embarrassed to fess up, be vulnerable and apologize. 

Saying sorry lets others forgive you so you can move on and focus back on what you want. 

Expressing sincere gratitude is a strong emotion to convey, and opens up new doors and opportunities. Sending thank you cards to acquaintances is a great idea- because it’s not just about sending the card it’s about having a deep appreciation for others around you.